QUESTION: on some comment on some video, i saw someone asking you about polyamory and you answering like that would be the ideal/natural way, but that we are not evolved for that… could you expand on that?
Mahābhārata gives us a lot of information about this, because many of the main characters – including Draupadī – get into unusual polyamorous situations, and the author, Śrī Vyāsa, takes some time to explain the validity of it. What we learn there is that in the first age, Satya (Kṛta) Yuga, in which life is the most ideal, there is no such thing as marriage. Humans live in harmony with natural biological instincts and need no other guidelines. Women freely have sexual relations with any man they want. Their biology is extremely predictable and their ovulation cycles are foolproof. Therefore they can choose the men they want to father their children, and the men they simply want to enjoy pleasure with. They would select one or two men for fathering children, and unite with them on cycle (“in season”). That was the tiny extent of human “marriage,” and the huge extent of female sexual freedom in Satya Yuga.
In the next age, Treta Yuga, which initiates human decline, polygamous marriage was introduced. This mostly limited the female freedom. I personally believe female freedom is limited for two reasons.
- Women have less hormonal instinct to break sexual rules they are requested to follow.
- It is biologically disadvantageous to restrict men.
In this age, two types of paths for women emerge – one is the “artist/scholar,” the other is the “wife.” The former does not marry and is not judged by new moral standards, but also does not receive respects and social protections afforded to the later. The later, the “wife,” is forbidden to have sexual relationship with anyone other than the one male she is married to (except in unusual circumstances, many of which happen frequently and are discussed thoroughly in Mahābhārata). The male, however, is allowed to have sexual relations with multiple women, under certain conditions. The most important are:
- He must marry each woman.
- He must financially and emotionally support each wife.
- The first wife must approve of the potential second, etc.
In the third age, Dvāpara Yuga, in which human beings accelerate their decline, the same standards hold, but monogamy becomes more common, and the rules of polygamy are more frequently violated (mostly by men violating the three rules above, especially the third). During this age polygamy tends to become limited to the Royal Families (other men seldom have the financial means to support more than one or two women), or royal posts within other social classes (like the Kings of the farmers, etc.) Most of the other classes adopt monogamy, and the lower classes tend to break the rules of monogamy.
In the fourth age, Kali Yuga, in which human beings fully decline, no rules are observed. Rules are facades.
On learning of the Vedic Polyamory and Polygamy of Satya Yuga, the people of Kali Yuga get bright eyes and inspirational ideas. They find a way to put a costume of “spirituality” on their hairy animal hide. Indeed, to the superficial eye, Kali Yuga sexuality looks like Satya Yuga sexuality. In Satya Yuga, however, no rules were necessary, while in Kali Yuga, rules are absolutely necessary yet no one can uphold them.
Neither Monogamy nor Polygamy nor Polyamory works well in Kali Yuga. Monogamy and Polygamy fail because people have very weak self-discipline and tend to break every rule they are given, almost compulsively and for fun. Polyamory fails because people very little or no tangible sense of the importance and value of other people. Thus, their polyamorous interactions are almost entirely selfish, and thus almost entirely degrading.
People in Kali Yuga tend to think that polyamory is “easier” than marriage, and polygamy is “easier” than monogamy. This just goes to show how blind and inexperienced they really are. To juggle four eggs is more difficult than juggling one. The kali yuga person, however, wants to hold ten eggs, throw them all up in the air at once, and then walk away from the mess when they all splatter on the ground.
People in Kali Yuga should try to juggle one egg. We will find even this a task requiring our full concentration and dedication.
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